godotal:

omgbuglen:

How to use sand to freak people out

Imagine if some guy was tripping and saw the woman, runs up to help her and she just crumbles apart in his hands. That’s gonna take the trip south.

godotal:

omgbuglen:

How to use sand to freak people out

Imagine if some guy was tripping and saw the woman, runs up to help her and she just crumbles apart in his hands. That’s gonna take the trip south.

suluboo:

relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead 

magnezone:

kinomatika:

wellmanicuredman:

sextus—empiricus:

sunshien:

ahahhahaha what the fuck is wrong here is the siren damaged or something.  I’ve heard this exact siren before but never all creepy like this

actually the reason the siren sounds like that is because it’s echoing through the tall buildings of downtown chicago!

jesus, fuck this 

Alright guys listen up!

novacaineexe:

The Newton County animal shelter in Indiana is going to be shut down.

Why is this such a big deal? Because It’s a no kill shelter.

Newton County does not want to fund a no kill shelter anymore.

The dogs in there have until August 1st, until they are killed.

So people need to adopt them, or help fund it, and get it to $3000.

gymnosofi:

mypatientvessel:

Dude.

My dad was telling me about these girls at his old college who invented a nail polish that paints on clear, and if you stir your drink with your finger with the nail polish on, it will react with the “Date Rape” drug and turn red.

Dude. It’s genius.

http://www.2lovemylips.co.uk/

sp00ky0wl:

ghostyfelix:

satohai:

iliketolight-thingsonfire:

fairysharkmother:

MOMMA WILL GIVE ADVICE.

ALWAYS REMEMBER: MENSTRUATING DOES NOT MAKE YOU BAD. IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE SICK. IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE DIRTY.

First of all, do not go swimming in the ocean to look for Momma. 
Momma will be right here.

Momma suggests that at first sign of blood, take tylenol. If you are super in tune with your body, take it when you estimate it will start soon!

Momma knows EXACTLY what to do for cramps. Eating cranberries or drinking their juice is a wonderful way to get rid of cramps.

Another way to help with the pain is to rest on your bed like in the picture, butt in the air and head on the ground. 

Also, if you do not like pads OR tampons, there are more solutions!

There is the softcup!

And the mooncup!

They are very similar to one another. They are basically soft, silicone cups that go up into your lady cave that collect the blood.The softcup is a bit more expensive.

Also, Momma says that if you want to have sex and not have gushing everywhere, you can use a softcup!

The mooncup is a lot like the softcup, but it is reusable. Momma will remind you that you MUST disinfect it in boiling water. 

You can even use natural sea sponge like a tampon! 
Momma says it’s okay. 

There are also cotton reusable pads!

Momma is also thinking of you men that have periods, too!
There is a special kind of boxers that you can buy with a special pocket for sanitary products! It also comes with a bulge.

The most important thing to do, menstruating or not, is to love and respect yourself. Do not feel ashamed, and get through it as well as you can!

Momma loves you!

Thank you momma.

I imagine Momma having a really typical haggard old smoker’s voice

MOMMA’S ON MY OWN DASH WHAT THE HECKLE

WAIT HOLD THE PHONE THERE ARE OPTIONS OUTSIDE OF PADS AND TAMPONS???

"What about when you get old?"
Tattooed Seniors answer the question.

loutrem:

enigmaharper:

You know what seems like a good idea?

A secret meeting with a cult that worships Der Großmann. Fusking brilliant.

Really!?

thats just how slenderverse heroes are.

im 11 and i eat weed every day fuck you